


A Stiff One

by Aiffe



Category: Avatar: Legend of Korra
Genre: Action, Bad Puns, Drinking, Humor, M/M, why is the canonical tag 'bad puns' my puns are fabulous
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-09
Updated: 2014-10-09
Packaged: 2018-02-20 11:02:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,964
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2426393
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aiffe/pseuds/Aiffe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mako and Wu spend an eventful night drinking.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Stiff One

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Русский available: [Что-то твердое](https://archiveofourown.org/works/8476510) by [miroveha](https://archiveofourown.org/users/miroveha/pseuds/miroveha)



"Loosen up, man, loosen up!" Wu said, and with a gesture ordered another round of drinks, one of which was set down in front of Mako, next to the last three he hadn't touched.

"I can't," Mako said. "I'm the designated driver."

"I have a chauffeur," Wu said. "He drives us everywhere. You know that." He punctuated this with a playful jab at Mako's arm, which Mako tolerated with all the dignity of an elderly cat. "C'mon, just have a few drinks with me, I order you."

"You can't order me, I work for the Republic City police," Mako said. He also wasn't an Earth Kingdom subject...well, as far as Wu knew, anyway.

"Oh, look!" Wu said, clapping his hand on Mako's shoulder. "Who's that hottie?"

Mako glanced over in the direction of Wu's gaze, and sighed. "She has a boyfriend."

"So, she's not married," Wu said, grinning mischievously.

"No. But she...has a boyfriend."

"Is her boyfriend a prince?" Wu asked. He grabbed one of Mako's untouched drinks, and went over to her. Mako watched, impassive, as Wu got that drink thrown in his face in short order. His gaze fell to the three full drinks on the bar counter in front of him. It _was_ going to be a long night, wasn't it?

Wu returned, wiping his face off with a handkerchief. "She likes me, I can tell," he said.

Mako downed the first drink without tasting it.

-

"So this is how the Earth Kingdom tortures prisoners."

"What, no! It's a delicacy! You...you take the brains of the unhatched ostrich-horse chick, and you make a pate, there's a seventeen-step process which only the master chefs in Si Wong province know. Then, it is wrapped in a cloth woven from human hair, which is saved from the brushes of beautiful unmarried maidens, and allowed to age. Very few outside the royal family have been lucky enough to taste it!"

"Mm," Mako said non-noncommittally, and when the bartender reached over to top up his drink, he firmly grabbed the bottle.

"I'm so glad to see you get into the spirit of this," Wu said. "Look at us, having fun drinking together, like bros!"

"Yeah...fun," Mako said. "Actually, you do sorta remind me of my little brother." He was just sober enough to not add, 'He's an idiot too.'

"I do? That's the sweetest thing anyone's ever said to me, Mako. You know, I feel like we're really bonding. I love you."

"You...love me," Mako said, with the air of someone who had just been handed an exceptionally fragile, exceptionally valuable, and exceptionally ugly piece of pottery.

"Yeah, I really do. I love everyone here!" he shouted. "Next round of drinks is on me!" A cheer went up in the bar. "See? They love me. I'm gonna be a great king."

The room was hazily shifting in and out of focus. Mako almost felt like he could love something too. A pity he was with Wu.

-

They finally slouched into the alley around closing time, leaning on each other and heading in what they hoped was the general direction of the car. Mako was trying to explain to Wu why he shouldn't date Asami.

"No, no, listen, she's just...she's not your type. You're not her type."

"You know her or something?"

"Not really," Mako said, not wanting to get into it with him. "But it's...yeah, I mean, it seems great, she's beautiful, intelligent, capable...but before you know it, you're kissing the Avatar, and it's all a big mess."

"Whuh?" Wu slurred. "Are you sure this is a problem that applies to me personally?"

"Yeah! Yeah, totally."

"So, what, like, is the Sato broad already dating the Avatar?"

Mako nodded absently. "Uh, sure...yeah, you think that."

Wu stroked his chin. "Hm...so it's like a twofer. I like it!"

"No, no, it's...no, can we forget everything I just said?" Mako struggled to say.

"Is there something you're not telling me?" Wu said, poking Mako in the ribs, hard enough to be slightly painful. "Come on, spill the beans."

Out of the corner of his eye, Mako saw a shadowy figure, and jerked suddenly to attention, sweating hard as if his body was trying to purge all the alcohol from his system in a matter of seconds. "Wu, look out," he said.

"Oh come on, Mako, I'm not falling for that."

"No, really—" Mako said, and hearing a sudden noise, pulled Wu to the side. Wu went limp as jelly in his arms, but Mako wasn't quite fast enough to protect him from the tiny bolt of metal that went whizzing by, hitting the wall behind them with enough force to crack stone. Wu's sleeve was torn, and blood trickled from a small cut on his upper arm. If Mako had done nothing, it would have gone through his heart.

Wu frantically grabbed at Mako, his eyes wide in terror, seemingly trying to climb on top of Mako in his panic. "Help me!" he squealed. "They're killing me! I'm dying!"

"Just calm down," Mako said, trying to pry his arms free so he could bend in defense of his charge. "It's going to be okay, I'll protect you."

That seemed to soothe Wu enough for him to settle for clinging to the back of Mako's shirt, which at least gave Mako some room to work. The assassin sprang forward, metal-armored, clearly a metalbender, and Mako repelled him with a burst of flame, which the assassin shielded with earth from the street and nearby buildings.

"Let go of me, just trust me," Mako hissed back at Wu, and to his surprise, Wu relaxed his tightly-clenched fists enough to release his shirt. Mako stepped forward, bending enough fire around himself that the assassin wouldn't get a second clear shot at Wu. The alcohol in his bloodstream was making him a bit careless, but that only made his flames burn hotter.

After a brief match, the assassin clearly thought the better of fighting him, and turned tail. Mako briefly made as if to give chase, then remembered his charge and hesitated. Getting Wu to safety was more important than catching this person...for now. He turned around regretfully, wondering if he could gloss over his own drunkenness when he reported this to Beifong later.

Suddenly, cables snaked down from above, wrapping around him and pinning his arms against his body. Mako struggled in vain, then followed the cables with his eyes up to the rooftops...where a second assassin had a metal lance primed and about to be hurled at Wu. With no time to second-guess himself, Mako pointed two fingers forward, struggling to aim his arm up the cable as much as he could, feeling the sizzling divide of energy inside him, the absolute coldness left in its wake. The energy arced up, caught the cable, and for a moment he thought, this was suicide, but the energy was his to command, and it flowed up the cable, towards the assassin, who collapsed on the roof. The cables binding Mako went slack.

Mako disentangled himself, and saw another agent—possibly the first assassin—come up to the roof and pick the one he'd electrocuted up. His first instinct was to find a way to get up there himself. They couldn't go very fast like that, he'd have the advantage...but Wu said, "Mako," his voice trembling, and Mako's priorities shifted.

"Are you all right?" Mako asked, kneeling by where Wu lay on the ground. His fine clothes were stained with alley muck, though he didn't look much worse than shaken up.

"I....got hit..." Wu said, looking up at Mako with watery eyes. "On my chest..."

"What?" Mako said, suddenly feeling a tinge of panic, remembering the tiny pellet that had been aimed at Wu's heart the first time. He tore open Wu's shirt, to his relief finding only a bruise.

"Come on, you're okay," Mako said.

"I...don't think I can stand," Wu said feebly.

Mako sighed and lifted him up. "The car's this way, right?"

"Yeah," Wu said, holding on more tightly. His shirt was still hanging open, and he looked oddly demure, for such a cocky little thing. "Mako...I don't know if I'm going to make it...."

"You'll be fine," Mako said. "We can go to the hospital if you like just to check everything out."

"The hospital...I'm really dying...Mako...." he gasped. "I'm only sixteen. And I have...a terrible secret...."

"...Oh?" Mako said, pretending he wasn't curious.

"I'm a virgin," Wu said. "I've actually...well I've never really kissed anyone. I'm a kiss-virgin."

"That's nice," Mako said. "Come on, the car has to be...did your chauffeur move it?"

"I don't think you understand!" Wu said impatiently. "I almost died tonight! I might still be dying! I don't want to die...never having kissed anyone...."

"Prince Wu, you're not going to..." Mako began, but trailed off at the look in Wu's eyes. "Are you...seriously...."

"Kiss me, Mako...in case this is the end."

Mako froze, indecisive. "Well...."

"Please, Mako...."

"No one can know, all right?"

"I promise, I'll take it to my grave!"

"If it'll...make you feel better...." Mako said hesitantly, and tightened his arms around Wu, pulling him up within kissing distance. He'd thought _just a peck_ , or something along those lines, but you couldn't very well give someone what might ostensibly be their last kiss before dying without doing a good job of it. So that's exactly what he did, gentle and slow like someone delicate and in peril should be kissed.

A cough that didn't come from either him or Wu snapped him out of it, and Mako jerked up to see the disapproving gaze of the chauffeur. "Right, let's get you out of here," Mako said, hauling Wu into the backseat of the car, his cheeks burning bright red, as if he could pretend he wasn't caught in the act. The chauffeur spared them one last judgmental look before getting in the driver's seat.

"Back to the hotel?" the chauffeur asked, seeing only their drunken antics, and clearly not realizing how close Wu had just come to being assassinated.

"Police station," Mako said, and over Wu's objections, "you can go to the hospital after, I don't think it's urgent."

Wu lay sprawled out in the backseat, his shirt still open, flushed but seemingly not embarrassed, his legs flung over Mako's lap. "You're such a faker," he said, grinning.

Mako shut the window between the backseat and the driver. "You asked me for a kiss, and you're surprised it was fake..." he said.

"I'm surprised that it wasn't," Wu said, and languorously dragged a leg over Mako's groin. The leg rubbed up against something turgid, and Mako gulped.

"You..." Mako said, pushing Wu's legs of him and folding his hands in his lap, "you go back to dying, or something."

Obligingly, Wu slumped theatrically. "You're a good bodyguard, but...this might be the end for me, Mako. I've never sucked a dick before, you know...can I do it just once before I die...?"

Mako bumped his head against the tinted glass of the Satomobile window. "I need a drink."

"A stiff one?" Wu asked, leering.

"Ye—no, not like that," Mako said. "Seriously, where do you get such a filthy mind if you're a virgin..."

"You believe everything I tell you, I love it," Wu said, pulling Mako into an embrace. "You're just the best, I'd do anything for you. Man, when I first met you, I kinda thought you were a tool, but now, you're _my_ tool." He grinned. "Wanna kiss some more later?"

"I'm not drunk enough for that."

"I'll take that as a maybe."

**Author's Note:**

> Want to share this fic on tumblr? Reblog it [here](http://forbitten-fruit.tumblr.com/post/99522348379/fic-a-stiff-one-lok-wuko)!


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